


The Deep Abyss Known As Loneliness

by Tachi_Sakon



Series: HAIKYUU!! requests [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Awkward Kageyama Tobio, Awkward Tsukishima Kei, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eskimo Kisses, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Insecurity, Kageyama Tobio is Bad at Feelings, Kageyama Tobio-centric, Loneliness, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Protective Tsukishima Kei, References to Depression, Sleepy Cuddles, Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi Friendship, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:13:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28400691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tachi_Sakon/pseuds/Tachi_Sakon
Summary: Kageyama Tobio hated being alone, but somehow, that’s always how he ended up.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio, Kageyama Tobio & Everyone, Kageyama Tobio & Kindaichi Yuutarou & Kunimi Akira, Kageyama Tobio & Oikawa Tooru, Kageyama Tobio/Tsukishima Kei
Series: HAIKYUU!! requests [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2022740
Comments: 10
Kudos: 44





	The Deep Abyss Known As Loneliness

**Author's Note:**

  * For [yaekkunsenpai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yaekkunsenpai/gifts).



> Here’s your first chapter! I hope that you enjoy it :) I will try to update regularly and I hope that it will live up to your expectations <3 merry belated Christmas!

Kageyama Tobio hated being alone, but somehow, that’s always how he ended up. 

* * *

Kageyama was unimpressed. His classmates worked to slow. They didn’t get thin done in time. But, he supposed, he wouldn’t say anything this one time for the sake of their feelings. Muttering quietly, he grabbed a sheet of paper before sitting down in a chair and crossing one leg over the other, surveying his partners as he wrote. 

“Kageyama,” one of the boys called. 

Kageyama grunted in acknowledgement without raising his head. “What,” 

“We’re done,” the other added, “if you wanna see what we did.” 

“Okay.” 

Kageyama put his things away and stood from the chair. Walking over to whatever his classmates had been doing, he let them step back for him and looked at the shorter male, “Well?” 

The tan boy rolled his green eyes. “If you’d look down, you’d see.” 

“Okay,” Kageyama agreed. He looked down and to his utter disappointment, he saw that they had done nothing the way he had directed them to. He couldn’t stop the scowl from crossing his face, and the boys who had walked around in front of him had seen it and were now frowning.

“What now,” he sighed as they rolled his eyes at Kageyama, “did we do something wrong again?” 

The other swept down into a mocking bow before Kageyama and muttered, “Forgive us if we have, King.” 

Kageyama simply stood, arms hanging at his sides and glower on his face as he stared down at the two people that were assigned to work with him.“I,” he began, anger seeping into his tone, “told you two exactly how to do it. I told you two word for words how I wanted it,” he raised his head and jabbed a finger the tan boy, nearly shoving him as he glared at him, “and you didn’t do _any_ of it!” 

The other male quirked an eyebrow and crossed his arms over his chest. “Building an entire model of Japan’s famous volleyball courts isn’t exactly a reasonable request.” 

“Nor is it possible,” chimed in the other. 

“You just didn’t try hard enough!” Kageyama seethed, frowning deeper. “You two just didn’t want to do it so you did some half assed thing and called it a day!”

He watched at the tanned male slowly straightened up from his bow and faced him, eyes rigged with annoyance. 

“ _Half assed_?” The tall male asked, voice raising steadily with every syllable. “You’re calling us half assed when you didn’t even lift a finger?” 

“I told you what to do. You should have followed my instructions. They were plenty clear, so I don’t understand what you couldn’t do.”

“You know what, I’m tired of this.” The tan male said softly. “I never asked to work with you.”The boy’s olive colored eyes turned colder and colder the longer he exchanged glared with Kageyama. “And I’m tired of being treated like a peasant while you sit high on your throne like some kind of boorish king.”

The other nodded in agreement, jaw clenched as he stood behind his friend and placed a hand on his shoulder. “We’ve had it. All you do is ever order others around.” He said. “You never do anything yourself but somehow you have the fucking audacity to order us around.” 

Kageyama stood wide eyed as his classmates gathered up their scraps in their arms before dumping them at Kageyama’s feet. The tan teenager wiped his hands on his pants before sending one last glare Kageyama’s way, wrapping an arm around his friend’s shoulders and turning around. 

“We’re through,” he said as he and the other male walked away, “find someone else to use as your pigs.”

And Kageyama found himself standing alone in the middle of his classroom, gritting his teeth and clenching his fists as hot tears welled up in his eyes.

  
  


* * *

  
  


“Move faster!” Kageyama growled, fists clenched. “You could’ve gotten that!” 

His words were taken and passed by deaf ears and blank faces as his teammates either rolled their eyes at him, simply stared back quietly or yawned in his face before slowly turning their backs to him one by one. 

In less than five minutes, Kageyama found himself very much alone again, standing in the middle of the darkened gymnasium, one tear sliding down his cheek.

_ There you go, King. Your perfect team: yourself, yourself and yourself.  _

  
  


* * *

  
  


As he got older, Kageyama found himself alone more often than not. His family had no time for him, his sister busy, parents out more than in, and friends, he had none. 

Everywhere he went, mocking echoes and malice filled whispers tailed after him.

“Look, it’s the King.” 

“What’s the King doing walking down the commoners hall? Doesn’t he know that the King’s Hall is on the other side?” 

“Look away or he’ll strike fear into your heart just by looking at you.” 

“Who does he think he is, talking to that poor kid like he’s cattle?” 

“Does he really think that we’ll take his shit lying down like his subordinates?” 

“What a freak. Look at him, always alone and no friends. But then again, what does he need them for? To polish his throne or something?” 

“I can practically see his cape and crown.” 

“I bet he’s trying to become King Louis XIV.” 

“He’s more like King Louis XIV than King Louis himself.”

“He thinks he’s all that,” 

“Such an asshole.” 

“Loner,” 

_ Loner— yes, that’s what he was.  _

“He acts like he expects us to kiss the ground he walks on.” 

“Well, let’s show him what we think of his honor.” 

_ People spat in his face as he walked by, flipped him off when he approached them, ignored him whenever they got the chance and finally, abandoned him as a whole.  _

“That’s what we think of his honor.” 

_ What honor?  _

  
  


* * *

  
  


It was hard for Kageyama to be content. It was hard for him to believe in people, to allow himself to settle in and fit in with groups. It was hard for him to open and and ease his face, to talk openly and to be Kageyama. In his mind, Kageyama wasn’t a king. He never thought that he was, the whole King thing was something that someone made and applied to him; where it stuck like a large leech, sucking away at his emotions and life force. 

In his mind, Kageyama was the lowest part of the caste system, the last, very last estate and the dirt ground that held the bodies burned by the plague. He let himself be abandoned more than he’d like, he let himself be trampled on by those that managed to get close enough, he let himself be dismissed and allowed himself to lose his mind to the dark abyss known loneliness. 

For Kageyama, it was impossible to find love in anything. Impossible to have a partner who would stay at his side despite himself, who would stick by him though thick and thin; picking him up at his worst and being happy for him at his best. 

And that’s how he lived, alone, before he met the moon to his pitch black sky, minus the stars. 

_ Tsukishima Kei. _


End file.
